THE BIKER BROTHERHOOD.COM

UPDATED PRIVACY POLICY

Updated May 25th 2018

Ok so some suits over in the European Union made a new law that says we have to explain how we comply with the GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation), the DPA (Data Protection Act) and the PECR (Privacy and Electronic Communications Regulations) all because Facebook was playing sneaky with everyone’s data.

Like we all don’t already have enough to deal with without having to read, but now you need to read 1,000 words of legalese BS that makes literally not one bit of difference to you, me or anyone else on the planet….

Also we to be honest we really don’t know what how to write these things and I’m damn sure not paying a lawyer $1,500 bucks to do it either.  So after spending about two full days researching what we have to say I think we’ve got a handle on it.

I’ll keep this short because, well apparently we have to…

So the most important thing about all this GDPR bullsh*t is that all this has to be “concise, transparent, intelligible and easily accessible” so strap in folks, this is going to be the shortest, most precise and best mofo’ing privacy policy you have the pleasure of reading.

So. Here we go…

Tl;dr +

We’re a small, part time business and we don’t have the time, energy or desire to do anything sneaky, lowdown, underhanded or dishonest with your data. Look, it’s not that we’re not evil – we’re as corruptible as anyone – we’d just rather be out riding rather than trying to think up a evil plot to steal your identity.

So FYI, we collect and store the info we need to provide you with the service or products you buy from us. We might occasionally stalk you via Facebook ads, but really that’s just about it.

Cookies +

Seriously who really cares? I mean come on, let's be honest. Do you even know what a cookie is or does? Ok, yes we do use cookies because; well that’s kind of how this whole inter-web thing works. Now, if you don’t want our delicious home-baked chocolate chip scripts, then you need to block cookies on your browser but don’t come crying to us you’re surfing the web and nothing works the way it supposed to….

Visitor Tracking (Yes we're stalkers) +

Ok look, we’re following you. There I said it, ok? We use Google Analytics, primarily to stare at the real time traffic stats for our web site, but also because they’re cool. And we want to see what kind of stuff you look at more so we give you more of the content and products you like.

We also have the Facebook Pixel installed on our web site so that we can sell stuff. Yes you heard it. We are a small business - according to the IRS (blood suckers) and – I know this will come as a shock but… we want you to spend money with us and buy our cool shit. The Facebook Pixel means that we can see how people interact with our site and with the Facebook ads we run and then we try to show you the kind of stuff you like relevant stuff. If you’ve never seen the Facebook Ads analytics dashboard, DAMN it’s stalker central. That shit is a terrifying as a deer jumping out in front of you while you’re doing 60! Having said that, if you’re not on Facebook – fanfreakintastic, but the pixel is tracking you anyway – even if it’s not ours….

Now none of these things store any super personal data about you but probably they’ll nab your IP address, not that we’d know where to look for it or what to do with it… Honestly all we see is that a person or several people have interacted with our website in a certain way. Now, you can mess with us by doing something totally unexpected on the website and skewing our stats. Or you could do something way more fun and useful with your time LIKE RIDING.

Data Storage +

DATA!! It’s all about the data, yo... A literal crap-ton of petabytes whirring around the world and what? What’s it all for? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN? What will future historians actually see of us and our slowly collapsing society? So. We store your data in a few different places and use it in a couple of different ways. You ready for this?

Here on this website! If you register with the site we will store your name and email address. If you buy stuff from us we will store your name, email address, postal address, phone number if you give it to us, and purchase history. Your payment details ARE NOT held on the site. We obviously go to the maximum effort to keep this data secure and only two people have access to it. Only one of them ever actually looks at it and that’s to solve any technical problems you might have.

Ok, we’ll be honest: we do absolutely nothing surprising or crazy with your info. We use your purchase history to target you with ads for other cool stuff you might like. For example, if you buy a tee shirt, we might occasionally ask you if you want another tee shirt or hoodie, or some such thing. If you’ve one of our products, we’ll occasionally ask you if you want something else. Does that make us SuperGreedyEvilCorp? Na,, it’s pretty typical right?

1AutomationWiz! ! If you’ve signed up for anything or bought anything on our site – newsletter, contest entry, merch, anything – your name and email address also zips its way over to 1AutomationWiz, which is the system we use to manage our newsletters and emails. They are GDPR compliant. You can unsubscribe from emails at any time by hitting the unsubscribe button.

Your Payment Details +

When you buy our stuff, you will either pay through Stripe, PayPal or 1AutomationWiz. The only payment-based details we hold on our site are how much you’ve spent and which processor your payment came through. We keep no bank or card details, none, zip, nada. Stripe and 1AutomationWiz are GDPR compliant. PayPal is being totally weird about it but will have to be GDPR compliant or everyone in Europe will have to stop using it and I’m guessing probably they don’t want that. Or they might. What the hell do we know?

Email Marketing Doohickeys and Newsletters +

If you applied to the Biker Brotherhood VIP club or signed up to our newsletter, we will send you email – generally around 1 to 2 a month, but if might be more if something important or cool we want to tell you about. You can unsubscribe at any time by clicking the unsubscribe button in every email. Your name and email address are stored securely in 1AutomationWiz.

If you’ve been granted admission into the Private VIP Group and you unsubscribe from the members list, chances are you’ll be removed from the group as well.

1AutomationWiz automatically adds tracking thingies to the links we include in our emails, so if you click on a link WE KNOW. If you open an email WE KNOW. If you ignore us WE KNOW.

The most important thing about this is we have neither the time nor inclination to actually look at or do anything with these stats.

Your Right To Be Deleted +

FINE BE THAT WAY THEN, WE DON'T CARE! LOL!

If you want to go all undercover and whatnot , just shoot us an email at remove@thebikerbrotherhood.com and we’ll delete all the info we have on you from our systems while having a passive aggressive huff about what we could have possibly done wrong and that you're just being a paranoid crybaby.

Now this does not include PayPal and Stripe. If you want to delete your PayPal or Stripe accounts you have to do that yourself via PayPal or Stripe. We cannot delete your purchase history because the taxman really gets his panties in a bunch over stuff like that.

Just so you know, though, you won’t be able to access our the Biker Brotherhood VIP Club anymore. We’re not being dicks, it’s just because we need your email address so we know you’ve been vetted and that you’re allowed to access it.

Social Media and All That Jazz +

We use social media a lot, partly to promote our club and website but mostly as a vehicle for our creative swearing, meeting cool people and looking at pictures of cool bikes. If you talk to us in our Facebook group and we become familiar with you, we might find you on Twitter and say “Sup”. You can ask us to get stuffed if you really want and we will of course respect your boundaries.

You are not required to follow our social media accounts and we won’t ask our employees to temper themselves in the service of us. If they turn out to be racist, bigoted dipshits then we wanna know so we can tell them to go to hell